anti-thesis: behind happiness

somebody wrote me a comment in my multiply guestbook that i’m a pretentious person and betting that i’m unhappy with my life..

he maybe have won the bet if he had said that years ago..when contentment has not been digestively written yet in my database..at least right now i’m trying to..

yes, every once in a while..probably felt that way but i believe everybody has that time of his life asking questions of why and when..but life goes on..maybe the shallow person inside me came to see life in a better perspective..

i admit that i'm a pretentious person..that is what my horoscope and stars always tell me..maybe i just need to hide myself a bit..believe me, i'm not good with tru-to-life drama..escapist in the sense that i don’t wanna feel vulnerable to those kind and level of emotions..maybe i just need more time and trust for a person to understand me as me..

i deserve to be happy..everybody does..i had my ways to get out of that gloomy slice of life and trying my best to improve myself and thus live happily ever after..of course life can be so unpredictable unlike fairy tales..but we can always choose the best option..

i am not afraid to be lonely..if it’s the doorway to happiness..

parallel to sun tzu’s art of war: in happiness, prepare for loneliness..in loneliness, prepare for happiness..

still waiting in vain

maybe 99% of every people's life they spend it waiting..that is what people think when they had reached their time limit in this very stressful task of man..and the worst scenario that may occur is when the subject of waiting would not actually arrive as expected..

infinite frustration indeed..

patience is a virtue..but not always..

until when can we wait..

until we wait again..

i thought I am prepared..

you thought you are prepared..

change is inevitable..you always think that way when something has come surprisingly turned the pages of your life.. if you can't do anything about it..you just have to face reality and life goes on..everything is gonna be alright..

but there are things that you can anticipate that for that long run of time you prepare yourself to be protected from utmost misery or melancholic mood..

then that time would come.. most of the time without prior notice..you are going all the way through a transition period again..the path you are taking may not be the path you intend to pursue..you cannot stop..you just have to go on..and wait for that another life changing experience..hoping for brighter days..

then you’ll wish you’ve done better in the past..then you’ll remember the greatest time of your life..then you’ll see yourself walking backwards..the you’ll see yourself in the mirror..you’ve changed..now you noticed..now you realized..

it’s not about the consequences of not doing well..it’s about how you cope up with the challenges of the changing world..if you’ve done worse then..maybe you could improve tomorrow..if you forgot something then..maybe you could do something about it right now..stop searching for what can’t be found..

yet no matter how you prepared yourself for that moment..it always seems impossible to feel what you feared..you can never deny the fact that everything is not in your control..your option may not be limited but not all may not be on the side of your plan..

you thought you are prepared..

i thought I am prepared..